Rachel and I have been doing a lot of introspection lately, figuring out what our message is and what we want to contribute to the world through Unlearning SuperMom.
I am growing my awareness of my own privilege as a white, middle-class, cis-genderd woman and how I have been contributing to systems of oppression. And the more I learn, the more I notice how easy it would be to sink into my white fragility, avoid the problem and just stay out of the conversation. But silence isn’t a neutral response, it’s a negative response.
So we’re in this middle space of knowing we need to shut the hell up, listen, and amplify women of color, but also knowing that staying quiet and not using our platform to share what we learn would be wrong.
I think it’s incredibly important for all of us to unlearn our SuperMom tendencies. I absolutely believe we need to get out of the weeds of parenting so we can focus on becoming more emotionally intelligent, and healing our wounds, and being role models for our kids. Now more than ever, I believe the reason we need to do that is so that we’re not so focused on ourselves, but can shift our focus to the world around us. And we can’t do that if we haven’t done our own work first.
But right now, writing about white lady problems like being too busy, and not spending enough time on self-care feels shallow and trite.
So we’re working on getting better. We’ve been reading books by black authors and following leaders in the intersectional movement. We’ve been watching and studying and feeling all of the guilt and shame that comes with that; and challenging ourselves to go into that discomfort and really acknowledge our part.
We know that we want to keep talking about motherhood and all of the challenges that come with it. And we want to do that in a way that is inclusive, intersectional and does not harm any oppressed groups.
We’re not going to do this perfectly. We are going to be trying some things, and we are open to the impact that creates.
We hope you’ll come along with us.