"And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! And this is important! And this is important! You need to worry about this! And this! And this!”


And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No. This is what’s important.”

- Iain Thomas

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Against Small Talk: An Uprising

March 17, 2016



Don’t talk to me about the weather. I can see it’s been raining for days and yes, this morning is a bit colder than yesterday.


Tell me how the rain impacts you. What emotions do you notice when the sun comes out? Where do you feel it in your body? How comfortable are you in those feelings?


Then ask me the same.




Don’t tell me about the kids’ schedule and how busy you are. Yes, it can be hard getting them from place to place. Sure, it’s tricky scheduling everything in.


Tell me what you wish for your kids and how that reflects what you wish for yourself. What are you noticing about the choices you’re making for your kids, compared to what your mother did for you?


Then ask me the same.




Don’t gloss over the argument you had last night. Yes, sometimes it feels like men don’t listen and I know what it feels like to hold it all.


Tell me about your marriage. Do you feel supported and seen? Where is he meeting you and where do you feel unfulfilled?


Then ask me the same.




Do not tell me what you need to pick up from Costco. Yes, getting stuff done is part of the social contract and sure, I appreciate your advice on how to make it easier.


Tell me what your soul is longing for. What do you fear? What lights you up? What are your gifts and how will you use them to be of service in this life? 


Then ask me the same.




Rise up against distraction. Meet me here - past the little self, past “busy”, past the weather, and the to-do lists, and the emails, and the meetings.


I’ll be here. Waiting to listen and be heard.





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